When They Said "Blow up the Binary," That's Not What They Meant

At a "gender reveal" party in Iowa, a woman died when a canister filled with gunpowder and sealed with a metal cap detonated, sending pieces of metal flying into the air that struck her in the head. This device was an intended part of the event, supposed to send blue or pink powder into the air to reveal the sex of a young couple's coming child. These parties have become increasingly popular with young couples, and some have been elaborate, and others have also caused damage. Faulty wiring in a device at an Arizona gender reveal party started a forest fire, causing $8 million in damage and taking over 400 firefighters over a week to put out.

Why do this? Even if you ignore the potential for these devices to do damage, because most gender reveal parties don't involve explosives, why have the party? Why announce the child's sex to the world months before they are born, and years before gender roles begin playing a significant part in the child's everyday life? The cynical reading is that it's a statement. As society becomes more accepting of fluid gender roles and of trans and nonbinary identities, a gender reveal party is a way of saying "all this queer stuff is nonsense, I know what my child is, what that means they have to be, and I intend to reinforce that knowledge for years before they have the capacity to say otherwise." But I sincerely doubt that that is the thing on the mind of most couples who choose to have a gender reveal party. They see other parents doing a thing, and think that they are bad parents if they don't do it. They do it to fit in, without thinking about why they're doing it.

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