Being The Better Man

The behavior of people is the product of the signals provided to them by the society they develop in. Garbage in, garbage out. The ideas and lessons that we learn as children affect the people that we become for the rest of our lives. In recent years, modern society has devoted much attention and thought to the ways we socialize girls to become better women. Teaching them to be confident, to strive towards their own success, to not define themselves in relation to the men in their lives.

Not as much attention is paid to how to raise boys to become better men, and this matters because the modes of masculinity that we learn otherwise do real damage to our development. The traditional mode of masculinity we learn is to seal ourselves off from others; that to come to people about our problems is to become like women, and therefore to become lesser than "real men". That being a "real man" means not showing emotions other than anger, to impose your will upon others, make what you want clear and then take it. To go out and act without ever thinking about why you're doing what you're doing, and how it effects other people.

There is a better way. There is a way to take positive masculine traits; confidence, inner strength, standing up for yourself, and use them towards better ends. To create a masculinity that does not define itself by putting others down, or by dominance over women, but instead one that encourages fraternity and mutual respect for the dignity of all men, yourself included. You have the right to be respected by other men, and to respect yourself. You have the right to stand up for what you believe in, even when other men think that you shouldn't believe in it. Being a better man means standing up for yourself, and for others, especially when it's hard. There's nothing more manly than that.